“Be selfish” and “Don’t be selfish” mean the same. “Be selfish” means first love yourself, care for yourself, then worry about others. When you do this, you don’t go out in the world as a beggar of love or happiness. The love and happiness reside within. Then, you go out in the word as a king, who is there to share his wealth of love and happiness that he found within himself.
“Don’t be selfish” means you put others’ needs before your needs. Such an act announces to yourself and the world at large that you don’t need anything. The perception of any need is only superficial. Deep down, you are without needs and thus, you are coming into the world just to share, not to get anything. “Don’t be selfish” was one of the greatest tool invented to announce and feel who we truly are.
However, over period, “Don’t be selfish” did not remain a tool for growth. It became a rule to be followed. People were supposed to follow it even without knowing what it meant at the deepest level. The growth did not remain a choice; it became a compulsion and by so, did not remain growth at all. An act that could have been the biggest announcement of one’s true self, without freedom became a burden and killed the very growth it was supposed to lead to.
Now, we are celebrating “Be selfish” and “Self-love”. Both are lovely concepts and connect us to our deepest selves. I wonder what would happen a few years down the line when they also lose the essence. Humans have a tendency to hold onto the superficial and leave the essence. As and when it happens to these concepts, the time may be again ripe for “Don’t be selfish”.
Probably, only when we truly can see the same essence in all contradictions, can we claim to understand the essence. Words will remain words and concepts will remain concepts. They are mere tools of mind. And probably when we spend some time with any tool, we start infatuating about it, leading to problems. We are probably beyond all these tools and mind.